


"It's just a game", they said.

by asterysk



Series: LU Artist Appreciation Project <3 [3]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Gen, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), look its a written up draw the squad meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:35:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27197914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asterysk/pseuds/asterysk
Summary: The gang play a mysterious game called... "Mono-Poly". It goes poorly.(Part of the LU Artist Appreciation Project! - Inspired by artwork by Hyliagirl42/Lyra!)
Series: LU Artist Appreciation Project <3 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1986367
Comments: 6
Kudos: 82





	"It's just a game", they said.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HyliaGirl42](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyliaGirl42/gifts).



It had been an innocent suggestion. A game one of them had picked up from a merchant in some implacable time, on sale because they couldn’t shift stock. It was meant to be some fun.  
  
It was _not_ meant to end up like this, a scene of chaos some seven hours after they started. Everyone was shouting, volume control long since lost to heightened emotions of all kinds.

“ _INCREDIBLE - WARRIORS GOES BANKRUPT AFTER A STUNNING COMEBACK FROM WILD_.” Wind yelled at the top of his lungs to no one in particular that Time could tell, while the aforementioned Warriors slumped, drained, over the board. It had been a brutal game, the initial eight players dwindling over time to this two player showdown. 

Sky had dropped out first, not really getting into the game given its surprising ruthlessness. Hryule followed soon after, confused about the basic rules of the game and, honestly, the concept of renting property. Still, he continued watching the others play, enjoying spectating much more. 

Wind lost to unlucky card draws by himself and Warriors beside him, and once there was blood in the water, there was no mercy. He had pouted for all of five minutes before joining Hyrule as a spectator, and some thirty minutes after that, started providing dramatic commentary. 

Four was next to drop out, citing his reasons for quitting as everyone “getting way too weird about it”. (It had been after a run of doubles put him in jail; Hyrule had for some reason constructed a penalty box out of sections of tree bark lying around, and everyone had now adopted the rule that you had to physically sit in it when jailed in game. Four might play it down, but his pride had limits.)

Legend was forced out after trying to bribe Time (who was supervising the bank) with actual rupees to slip him fake rupees. Sky had tried to mediate between everyone, but the most he could do was halt the impromptu mock court proceedings that sprung up by negotiating with Legend his withdrawal from the game. 

Hours after the game had started, there were only three players left in contention: Wild, Twilight, and Warriors. 

Twilight wasn’t even playing to win; he had been playing out of pure spite against the game ever since he realised that you could buy the entire Sacred Realm as a property. Wild buying the entirety of Ordon Village and building a hotel on it was the last straw, and Twilight’s entire strategy shifted to Disruption and Protest. Eventually, he got sent to jail and refused to play by the rules, staying in the box long after the three turn limit was up and refusing to charge rent on any of his properties.

The game continued on regardless, down to the last two. The spectators watched with varying levels of interest, ranging from Time’s quiet amusement to Wind’s blow by blow commentary. Warriors and Wild kept going, neither falling behind. Warriors had more property, whereas WIld had more funds - and yet, Warriors kept landing on Wild’s properties. They were all developed as much as possible, and the rent was extortionate, draining Warriors funds to the point where he had to start selling off. It was all downhill from there, a slow, excruciating decline as debt racked up.

And now Warriors was defeated, a shell of his former self as Legend yelled in the background and Hyrule rained the fake paper rupees onto Wild.  
  
Sky prayed to Hylia for his companions, so consumed they were by ruthless capitalism.

Time sipped his coffee and leant to whisper to Four beside him. “We’re dropping this game in Death Mountain at the earliest possibility.”  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> The art that inspired this can be found on Tumblr! Consider liking and reblogging, and checking out their other stuff! They have serious stuff that's really cool! Not that memes aren't great, but still.
> 
> https://hyliagirl42-art.tumblr.com/post/185806725615/sorry-i-havent-posted-in-forever-work-is-draining


End file.
